


When I'm Dreaming

by angelcastiel72



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Because what was that ending, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Except I changed a few things, F/M, Longing, M/M, Memories, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Season/Series 15, am sad, s15e18 happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 02:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30132309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelcastiel72/pseuds/angelcastiel72
Summary: It's been years but Dean can't seem to let go of... him. His subconscious keeps reminding him of the man he lost.This is set after season 15 episode 20 but I'm pretending that things went differently than they did.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	When I'm Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> I got the inspiration to write this because I was listening to "ghostin" by Ariana Grande. Specifically this part:
> 
> "Though I wish he were here instead / don't want that livin in your head / he just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then."

Dean runs to the edge of the cliff, heart pounding and hands shaking. He would be drenched in sweat if the rain hadn’t already soaked through his clothes. He’s been running for what feels like days. He isn’t sure what’s chasing him but he knows he can’t stop running. 

He looks down the cliff and he can feel something in the back of his head telling him to jump. The voice is so stringy he may as well have two hands grabbing onto his shirt, tempting him to get closer and closer until…

He looks around for a moment. He hasn’t heard anything in a long time besides the heavy downpour and the occasional ripple of thunder. On top of that, he can’t see very far. He can make out that he’s running on dirt and the cliff has a very steep drop off but that’s about it. He can’t say whether he’s surrounded by trees or there’s emptiness for miles. 

He lowers down and sits with his legs dangling. He can’t jump. No matter how badly he wants to. 

Then from behind him, he hears the sound of feet running in the distance. There are so many. They’re all heading for him as fast as they can and he has no idea what is attached to those legs. What would happen if they caught him?

Suddenly a real hand grabs his ankle. He kicks, his heart rate climbing faster than he can shake the thing off.

“Dean,” a familiar deep voice calls his name from below.

He stops kicking.

“Cas?”

*

“Dean?” 

The first thing he sees is a concerned female face. She’s sitting next to him in bed and lightly touching his cheek. 

She continues, “you were talking in your sleep, Dean. You even woke me up. Are you okay?”

He smiles and nods, “yeah. Just a bad dream.”

Her face doesn’t soften even as she averts her eyes. “You said…”

“I’m fine, okay? Whatever ya heard? Just forget about it.” 

He places his hand firmly in her leg, making her jump. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” he forces an even bigger and more charming smile.

She halfheartedly returns one and sighs, “morning.”

Dean likes Sienna. She’s nice and pretty and used to be a hunter too. He met her a couple of months ago at a bar and they just clicked. He remembers calling Sam the night they met, worried because he hadn’t tried to really impress a girl in a long time. He’d had one-night stands here and there but nothing serious. Sam reassured him that if he was ready then he should go for it, especially now that they both lead pretty normal lives.

After Amara took over as God there was no need for hunters anymore. Chuck only made monsters for his own amusement anyways so she felt there was no harm in removing them from the world. That’s why Sam and Dean left the bunker and committed to being average for the first time in their lives. When they moved out Sam and Eileen brought Jack with them. For a couple years Dean couldn’t quite figure out how to *exist* let alone take care of the kid. But he tried to visit whenever he could, at least. Thankfully, Dean landed the first job he interviewed for. He’s a cop now and lives in a condo. He even has a girlfriend who stays over on the weekends and they cuddle and watch movies and go out to eat. It took three and a half years but life is good.

...or it should be. 

Sienna leans down and kisses him on the cheek before getting up to make breakfast. She knows he has a tough time concentrating after one of his nightmares. These are the mornings she takes care of things and these are also the mornings he reminds himself how lucky he is to have her. 

But there’s a pit in his stomach when he looks at her.

Not nervous butterflies.

An empty pit.

And when he has those nightmares… a small part of him wishes they would never end. He wants to go back to sleep and hear that voice say his name again. On mornings like this it takes all of his energy to keep himself from sleeping forever.

He glances to the cupboard on his left. He knows where the ingredients are. For that dream spell.

Every day he considers it. He would make the drink and take a sip and go to sleep. He doesn’t let himself think about what exactly he would do in his dream world but he worries that once he enters for the first time, he’ll never convince himself to leave.

But Sam would pull him out of it and then he’d have to live the rest of his life knowing he can’t go back there. 

But as it is he’s barely living at all.

“Dean! I made bacon!” Sienna shouts from the kitchen.

He runs his hands through his hair and responds, “comin’!”

He finally gets up and fixes up the blankets as he does. Even with the crushing weight of regrets and memories, he cannot stand to have a messy bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure if I'm going to write any more chapters for this. Maybe.


End file.
